Ludacris-My Chick's Bad feat Nicki Minaj

Ludacris-My Chick's Bad feat Nicki Minaj

Name drops: Less popular sports stars, Macy's parade, Homer Simpson, Nightmare on Elmstreet, Friday the 13th, Milk

Summary:  I still can't decide if this song is solely about a girl that is real "bad" because she'll do all sorts of sexual things or if it's about that AND being super crazy and fighting bitches left and right.   However, with lines like, "She rides that dick and she handles her liquor," I can only assume that he is focusing on the sexual aspect of his lady.

Now, lets decide if Ludacris did a good enough job pushing his agenda of his chick being bad.   I have to deduct some points for the line, "My chick do stuff I can't put into words" because your job is to put things into words.  And I have to assume if you have the line, "the whole crew want to bone her," then you are probably not omitting something about your girl that would be "classless" 

However, I will give those points BACK, because on three occasions in this song Ludacris name drops sports stars of less popular sports: Venus and Serena Williams, Tiger Woods' (wife), and Lisa Leslie.  He could have easily have dropped names of athletes from more popular sports: Kobe Bryant, Dwayne Wade, Brett Farve.  Instead, he went with: Tennis, Golf, and Women's Basketball.  I almost gave another point for the creativity with the line.  "My chick brings the racket, like venus and serena"  I thought that was a pretty clever line!  However I decided to keep the point because that was one of the only lines in the entire song that makes sense.  Which brings me to my next point....

WHAT THE FUCK IS LUDACRIS TALKING ABOUT IN THIS SONG?!?  Here are a selection of some of the most random lines:

"I knock a bitch out and fight ,Comin' out swingin' like Tiger Woods' wife" 

 I am convinced that he did whatever he could to have a lyric set up the phrase, "tiger wood's wife" because the line, "I knock a bitch out and fight" Indicates Luda is punching out chicks.

"Yeah, she can get a lil' hasty , Chicks better cover up their chests like pasties"  

I don't understand if this means the girl who is "bad" is going to shoot them in the chest?  Otherwise, why would they be covering up their chests?  Also, pasties have very little coverage.

"I fill her up, balloons!"

This is the most awkwardly delivered line, ever.

"Doh, but I ain't talk 'bout Homer ,Chick so bad the whole crew wanna bone her! " 

 Using Homer simpson's name to set up the line "the whole crew wanna bone her," kind of ruins a lot of my childhood watching The Simpsons for me.  But enough about my ruined childhood, more importantly, WHY WOULD YOU WANT YOUR WHOLE CREW TO WANT TO BONE YO CHICK?

Some unanswered questions:

Friday the 13th, guess who's playin' Jason 
Tuck yourself in, you better hold on to ya teddy 
It's Nightmare on Elm Street and guess who's playin' Freddy

Are these hypothetical questions, or could I just go to IMDB.com to find out?

Finally, after my brain has worked over time to trying to figure out if I was missing the point of some of the lines, or if it was just a random clustering of words and things Luda liked, I was left only wanting to know one thing.  Where do you get a certificate to be a certified stripper?  And are there certain strip clubs that only employ Certified Strippers.

So, this song gets 1/2 of a Wheezie.  It was at zero, but slam dunking was mentioned and I figured that's enough to keep it on the board.

To Ludacris, I don't like much you do musically.  Sorry.

To Nicki Minaj, you are insane looking and your facial expressions are off the charts.  I'm both impressed, and horrified.