Lyfe Jennings-STATISTICS

Lyfe doesn't like the embedding option in youtube videos!

(start this video at :40, it kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind of makes you feel terrible if you don't)

Alright alright alright! Class is in session. We are about to learn about some hard hitting statistics from Mr. Lyfe Jennings!!! Not since Seasame Street and Nick Jr. has a song had the intention of educating it's listeners quite the same way.

Now, I never made it to Statistics in High School, so I might not be the authority on this. See Lyfe says "welcome to statistics 101", but then it sounds like all the statistics are already figured out! If Statistics was just the teacher throwing statistics out at you and there was no work involved, then I think I missed quite possibly the best kept secret in high school. Though, based off of the content in this song, I do believe this class should be "Health Class 101" and it is taught by a heatedly bitter female gym teacher.

Now I'm going to go ahead and list all of the statistics he hands down in this song:

25% of all men are unstable
25% of all men can't be faithful
30% of them don't mean what they say
and 10% of the remaining 20 is gay

15% of all men got a complex
15% of all men don't practice safe sex
20% of them come from homes without a father
and there's a 50/50 chance that you'll marry a coward

Those are some hard hitting numbers! I can't imagine the time it took to compile those figures. Now lets break it down!

I'm already a little confused about the first verse of stats, so maybe statistics is harder than I thought! You have 80% in the first 3 lines, then it goes on to say "and 10% of the remaining 20 is gay" Does he mean 20 dudes in the last 10% are gay? And further more, then there is a mystery 10% in this equation that goes un named? UNLESS, the last line is suppose to be read as 10% of guys are fine, but then 20% are gay....BUT THEN YOU HAVE A 110%!!!! Come on Lyfe, it's already hard enough for me to find a guy who is stable (according to your statistics) I shouldn't be wasting precious time on MATH.

So it seems like in the second verse of stats you have a little bit better of a shot! In the first 3 lines you total 50%, and then there is a 50/50 chance you'll marry a coward, so I assume that is to be taken off the remaing 50% which would account for 25% of men will be a coward, so in this scenario you have a 25% of finding a good guy!!!! (account for gay dudes manually)

But don't worry ladies!!! Lyfe has got a way to get you the 10% remaining (though, I'm not sure if it's really 10% based off of the figures)

RULE #1
Don't be a booty call
If he don't respect you girl he gon forget you girl

RULE #2
If he's in a relationship
If he will cheat on her that means he will cheat on you

RULE #3
Tell him that you're celibate
And if he wants some of your goodies he gon have to work for it

RULE #4
Be the person you wanna find
Don't be a nickel out here lookin' for a dime

Rules 1 and 2 sound perfectly fine, I just run into a few hiccups come rules 3 and 4.

Now, I was never much of a player in English class either but I thought celibate was to obstain from sex! and according to dictionary.com.....

One who abstains from sexual intercourse, especially by reason of religious vows.

That's exactly what it is! So....is Lyfe telling a girl to....lie? I guess I never thought being celibate was an on and off switch...but I also didn't know that there is only 10% of of guys remaining only 80% other guys are accounted for...

And rule #4: is he trying to say that the girl is a nickel, so she should know her league and don't try and go for a dime?! That seems very disheartening, however the idea of a nickel falling in love with a dime and the dime being out of her league seems like the PERFECT setting for a new disney movie!

Overview: This song might have some shotty math, and kind of makes you feel like every guy is a jerk, but it is ONE HELL OF A SLOW JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM. So I forgive it all.

Wheezy Rating: 3 1/2 out of 5. Yeah, I just tore this song apart, but I don't know if I forgot to mention THIS IS ONE HELL OF A SLOW JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM. Also, I had to tack on some points to the fact that Mr. Lyfe Jennings basically is public enemy number one to 90% (really 80% by his math) of men out there.

So ladies, if you have a guy who is in that 10% (really 20%) then hold him tight! And guys, if you are in that 90% (really 80%) of jerks, well, looks like you need to find new practices because lyfe just outted you playa!

Lil' Wayne-Let the Beat Build (FREE WHEEZY COUNTDOWN)

Disclaimer: Let me just say, that the chorus doesn't even drop until the 2 minute mark.  Yeah, I think that's how you let the beat build...bitch.

Lyrically, this is my favorite Lil Wayne song.  I really like the beat (gah, the song's title is refering to letting the beat build, I'm pretty sure it's going to be a good beat)  But I want to take this review a rap and just highlight some of the best lines in the song.

"Believe that like a true story

Rims big make the car look it's two stories"

What I love about this line is it puts this insane visual in your head of a car that is made to look HUGE because the rims distort your perception of size.  Now, I went back and forth on if I wanted to show a picture of a car with huge rims.  I thought, "The visual is so much better than actually seeing it"  Until I googled "Really tall cars" and got this on the first page:

NEXT LYRIC!

"I told her tool box bitch it's hammertime"

If this blog post is your first introduction to Lil Wayne, you might not realize how much this guy likes doin it.  He likes talking about, a lot.  He has a song called "Pussy Monster".  So I can only imagine that this lyric indicates sexual desires.  I think the proper delivery of this line is:   I told the bitch, "It's hammertime" which, I think, makes the intentions more clear.  Let's connect the dots here.  A box is sometimes the term used for a woman's "lady parts".  A tool can be the term for a male's "guy parts".  A hammer is a tool.  So for Lil Wayne to state, "it's hammertime" makes me think that he's planning on putting his "something" in her "something"

We good?  Sweet, next lyric....

"I am Legend and I am Will Smith"

I'm not sure what the point of this lyric is, but I like that he talks about I am Legend and Will Smith.  So I love it lots.  NEXT LYRIC!

"F-350 tank never empty

Damn everybody in the bank act friendly"

This is an F-350.  And I bet that tank gets empty PRETTY quick.  So you probably have to go to the bank and get cash, and whattya know, everyones acting so nice!  (This is how I imagine this line came about)  But really, everybody in the bank do act friendly.  

"or the wave pool at Blue Bayou

 and I waved fool, as I blew by you"

http://www.bluebayou.com/

Yup, just picture it, Lil Wayne, sitting on his inner tube in the lazy river just driftin' along.  Or seeing the thrill in his eyes when the buzzer sounds that they are about to start the waves in the wave pool.  Oh, and that lyric is probably my favorite lyric that Lil' Wayne has ever spoke.

Wheezy Rating:

5 out of 5, obviously.  This song is insane.  Lil' Wayne is insane.  I love this song.  3 more days till he's free to go to the wave pool at the Blue Bayou and catch some waves, or cruise in his giant car, or make a deposit at the bank, or have all of that sex he loves talking about!

Regulators- Warren G Featuring Nate dogg (GUEST REVIEWER JOE AVELLA)

BFFs from back in the day! Warren G, Me and Nate Dogg circa 1995 at the AOL Email Release Party. Nate was pissed because natedogg@aol.com was taken

Maybe the illest jam to come off the soundtrack of a movie no one remembers (Above the Rim) 'Regulators' still holds up as an amazing blend of hard edged gangsta rap and smooth urban beats, and also introduced us to a grip of slang still residing in my vernacular today.


Regulators Slang Run Down

Since these girls peepin me…

looking, seeing

Ex: I'm peeping that last slice of pizza


I see my homey and some suckers all in his mix

in one's face, area; can't be ignored

Ex: Yo this pizza is all in my mix


I'm gettin jacked…

Robbed, mugged

Ex: Someone just jacked the last slice, bro


I best pull out my strap…

Gun / Gat / Pistol

Ex: Some one invent a pizza strap!


In this choice cut, the Regulators (AKA 213) tell one crazy adventure with such a casual recounting one can only assume it was business as usual for 213.


FYI 213 is the area code of the neighborhood Nate Dogg and Warren G reside and Regulate in. It's most of South Central LA. (It's also the name of their rap trio with Snoop Dogg. They love their double Gs!)


213 is a pretty big area to keep the peace, but Warren and Nate can handle themselves pretty well, as we soon shall see.


Prologue

Incredible intro. Maybe one of the best in hip hop. Not only do they get RIGHT TO THE HOOK but also drop a little Young Guns in for good measure:





Possibly where the term 'Regulators' originates? If I were Emilio Estevez I would have lost my shit the first time I heard this jam.


ACT 1

Nate Dogg and Warren G are out on an average night looking for each other and hos. Typical night:


Warren:

It was a clear black night, a clear white moon

Warren G was on the streets, trying to consume

some skirts for the eve, so I can get some funk

just rollin in my ride, chillin all alone


Before you can say 'Where's Nate?" Nate drops in, keeping the flow smooth as silk:


Nate:

Just hit the Eastside of the LBC

on a mission trying to find Mr. Warren G.

Seen a car full of girls ain't no need to tweak

all you skirts know what's up with 213


Bitches better recognize! And so the first of the Regulators many vices are introduced: Girls. So far, so good.


Warren:

So I hooks a left on the 21 and Lewis

some brothas shootin dice so I said "Let's do this"


Dice: vice #2. Warren's weakness? So far he's been pretty careless, especially for being in such a rough neighborhood.


Warren:

I jumped out the ride, and said "What's up?"

some brothas pulled some gats so I said "I'm stuck."


The conflict presents itself.




ACT 2

ARG!!!! Use your head bro! Warren G is out numbered and in a pickle. Now, one would think "why was he so open and friendly to a group of strangers in such a bad hood? I though he regulated there often? Shouldn't he be aware of the 213's rough element?"


Please. Once again, enter Nate Dogg:


Nate:

Won'tcha think of better things than some horny tricks

I see my homey and some suckers all in his mix


Nate sees his boy in trouble. Let's take a look at

Nate Dogg's Hierarchy of Importance:

1) His Boys

2) Dice

3) Guns / Straps / Gats

4) Hoes


Sorry hoes. You take a back seat to his homey who's currently being hemmed up. Oh, and in case you're wondering:


Joe's Hierarchy of Importance:

1) His Boys

2) Pizza

3) Guns / Straps / Gats

4) Smooth hip hop melodies


Warren:

I'm gettin jacked, I'm breakin myself

I can't believe they taking Warren's wealth

they took my rings, they took my rolex

I looked at the brotha said "Damn, what's next?"


FIRST MENTION OF BLING, but we're way deep in the cut. this is Act 2. Pretty upsetting. Bling should be mentioned up top. It's like a main character in any hip hop narrative. If it's not introduced in the first act, it becomes off putting.


Warren goes on:

They got guns to my head

I think I'm going down

I can't believe this happenin in my own town

If I had wings I could fly

let me contemplate


Hold up. "If I had wings I could fly"??????? Getting beat down by a gang sucks for sure, but perhaps you should be wishing for something more practical, like a strap.


Warren:

I glanced in the cut and I see my homey Nate


RIGHT ON TIME! Well not really. The best time would have been before they got Warren's wealth and starting beating him into a critical condition wishing for wings, but hey…


Nate:

Sixteen in the clip and one in the hole

Nate Dogg is about to make some bodies turn cold



Regulators Math

16 + 1 = Cold Bodies



now they droppin and yellin

it's a tad bit late

Nate Dogg and Warren G had to regulate


Nate has an interesting choice of words: "Nate Dogg and Warren G had to regulate" funny since I don't recall Warren doing much except receive a beating and pray for wings. Perhaps that's how regulating is done?


Imaginary Scenario:

Nate: Yo Warren, those punks over there are up to no good.

Warren: Right. Time to regulate?

Nate: Fo sho. Here's the plan: you go over there and distract them by getting your ass kicked. I'll sneak up from behind and kill all of them.

Warren: Got it!…Wait, what?


Nate continues:

I laid all them busters down

I let my gat explode

now I'm switching my mind back into freak mode

if you want skirts sit back and observe

I just left a gang of those over there on the curb


ACT 3

Here's where the story gets a little weird. If you're keeping score at home Warren G just got beaten half to death and was saved by Nate Dogg who just shot a bunch of dudes. After a quadruple homicide, these guys go after some babes. You think they'd be preoccupied with a trip to the ER or getting the fuck out of town. Plus, weren't these girls across the street?


Nate:

one of them dames was sexy as hell

I said "ooo I like your size."

she said "my car's broke down and you seem real nice,

would ya let me ride?"


Really? I would have said something like "Uh didn't you just kill like 6 guys? And your friend is bleeding out of his ear." Hoes. Am I right?


Warren and Nate's flip in and out of murder mode is classic psychopathic behavior:


Looking for a good time > get in a fight > kill a bunch of people > get babes


But good on them. If you're going to be the hood Batman and Robin (sorry Warren, you're Robin) you can't be wasting time or energy on conflicts of the spirit.


Nate:

I got a car full of girls and it's going real swell

the next stop is the Eastside Motel


Bros know how to treat a ho. Look, it may seem chauvinistic, but keep in mind these are hos. Not ladies. Hos that were wooed by the pick up line 'ooo I like your size' from a dude who just lit up a gang and his buddy who's no doubt gone into shock by now. Not the classiest broads.


And here's where the jam gets EVEN HOTTER!!!!!!


Before the advent of youtube and the microshort attention span, Warren G and Nate Dogg perfected the art of keeping the listener invested. At a point where most listeners would move on, 'Regulators' goes into an ill breakdown, giving the track it's smoothest moments yet:






Warren:

I'm tweaking

into a whole new era

G-Funk

step to this

I dare ya

Funk

on a whole new level


Nate:

the rhythm is the bass and the bass is the treble


Regulators Math 2

If Rhythm = Bass,

and Bass = Treble,

Shouldn't Rhythm = Treble??

Points off for open-ended equation


EPILOGUE

True to the story telling form, Nate puts a recap on the end which doubles as a message to potential busters looking for trouble on 213:


If you know like I know

you don't wanna step to this

It's the G-Funk era

funked out with a gangsta twist

if you smoke like I smoke

then you high like everyday

and if your ass is a buster

213 will regulate


RATE: 4/5 Wheezies. This masterpiece does have its flaws. The biggest being the lack of bling. Some of the personnel here at Review A Rap would be quick to point out this was their first single and therefore should have no bling to speak of. Wrong city. Both Nate and Warren had been rolling with Dre and Snoop for several years and had numerous appearances on the Chronic and Doggystyle. Those albums made serious coin and these guys certainly had duckets to show.


Warren even makes an appearance in the Nuthin' But a G Thang video rolling a joint:






Just being in that video give you a license to go buck wild, yet they don't. I'm also docking for open ended math equations and psychopathic behavior.

Donk-Soulja Boy (GUEST REVIEWER SUSIE GUTOWSKI)

Review by: Susie Gutowski

As a woman with a butt like a sandwich-bag full of JELLO, I always appreciate a song that promotes
female butt-awareness. So when it was time to review Soulja Boy's hit "Donk," I was more than excited
to sit back on my precious posterior and let the self-esteem meter go way up. Instead, what I got was a
stale booty send-up, completely lacking emotional connection with the donk in question.

In fact, Soulja Boy (who is responsible for the memorable ditty "Crank That") teaches us that any rapper
worth his weight in diamond teeth can do whatever he wants, including producing a song composed
entirely of choruses. I suppose his song inspiration come from well-known psychological research,
specifically: repetition breeds recognition.

These two phrases are repeated over and over again, making up nearly 90% of the song:
• "She got a donk/She got a donk/She got a donk/She got a donk."
• "Shake some with it/Shake some with it/Shake some with it/Shake some with it."

Yes, that’s it. She got a donk. Shake some with it. Statement of fact. Instruction. Rinse. Repeat.

Truth be told, Soulja Boy seems more concerned with creating cute little dances with his boys than
singing about fine ass. Why tease us with promise of pro-rump lyrics? That’s what we’re all here for. I
think Pablo Picasso said it best when he said “Big booty! I’m sprung!”

Wheezy rating: 2/5. We recommend Soulja Boy turn to some comparative literature and take some
notes before releasing his next record. We sincerely recommend these derrière-inspired jams:

Bubba Sparxxx (featuring Ying Yang Twins) - "Ms New Booty"
Sipping on Patron (blong blong blong!)
Shorty in a thong (wom wom wom!)
Ass get the jiggling, motherf*cking wigglin’/
Get that thing shaking, like she frost bit shivering/
Ass be delivering, all type of flashes, cashes/
Got these hoes shaking that molasses

Ludacris - "Money Maker":
And I just wanna take a little ride on your curves/
And get erotic, giving your body just what it deserves/
And let me give you some swimmin' lessons on the penis/
Back stroke, breast stroke, stroke of a genius.

Sir-Mix-A-Lot "Baby Got Back"
“My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns, hon.”

You're better than this, Soulja Boy. Next time when I say DONK, you better scream "How high?!?"

THROWBACK Jay-z and JD- Money ain't a thang

Items mentioned in song that presumably are covered in diamonds/precious metals: rings, bracelets, chains, and a platinum gun.  

Or to better show you....

I'm going to say it, I think that Jay-z and JD think money IS a thang.  I mean, yeah they have a lot of it, but I think if they were to all of a sudden lose their money, it would be a "thang".  I understand something being a "thang" as something that has value.   I'm just saying it's like a high school girl saying, "I don't care if bobby likes me" but then ALL SHE DOES is talk about bobby.  I'd believe this song more if they said "Money ain't a thang" and then talked about Rollercoasters. 

Now, I'll pull myself past that conundrum so I can review the rest of this rap.....

One thing that gripes my grits are when artists say how rich they are when

 they are a brand new artists, or maybe over sell how popular they are.  Now, don't get me wrong, Jay-z is hard to beat.  But come on JD, you're not that popular....

"Know why? Cause I write the songs that the whole world sings" -JD

I bet that was originally Jay-z's line, and JD really wanted it, but no one had the heart to tell him that he isn't as famous as Jay-z so they let him have it. 

"Ya'll shit fo real till ya ship a mil" 

Disclaimer: Do not ship a million dollars cash in the mail.  I'd even feel uneasy about a check.  Just get a wire transfer.

Though I might be reviewing this song harshly, it has one of my all time favorite lines in a song.

"I've been spendin hundreds since they had small faces"

What I love about this line, is it doesn't matter how poor (me) you are.  You can relate to the time when there were hundred dollar bills with small faces.  I don't know what a platinum gun looks like, or a bracelet that is "frostbit" but I HAVE seen a hundred dollar bill with a small face, and it WAS a long time ago.  He must be doing really well if he has a good interest plan. 

Rate: 4/5 wheezies.  This might be surprising since I was being pretty sassy with this review.  But it was only because I care so much for it.  It's like, I'm in second grade, and this song is the boy I like but can only show it by being kind of mean.  Or like this....

Look, I don't understand a lot of what's going on in the song, and I can't identify with having that much money ever, but if you put this song on while you're driving, even if it's not a Bentley, you will enjoy yourself fully.  I do like this song a lot,  I just wish JD would know his place.

Tipsy-JKWON *WARNING AARON CARTER VIDEOS IN POST)

JKWON, WHERE DID YOU GO?!  Another tragic one hit wonder rap song, but still years later I can enjoy this little number.  I was reminded of it when I was doing karaoke and a girl picked this song to sing.  After proposing marriage to this karaoke girl, then kissing her on the forehead and telling her she is the best person alive, I decided I wanted to review this song. 

This song is a story.  A story about a night of partying, antics, drinking, and girls.  If you just read the lyrics, it paints a vivid picture of how you might see the night through Jkwon's eyes.  

"Now i'm lookin at shorty right in the eyes, 

Couple seconds passed now i'm lookin at her thighs, 

While she tellin me how much she hate her guy"

Oh, I think you know what it means when a girl is talkin about how much she hate her guy , Jkwon.  It means she wants to cry as she does sex things to you.  SUPER HOT.

It's a shame that Jkwon doesn't annunciate very well, because there are some pretty classy lyrics in this song!

"She smokin my blunt sayin she aint havin fun, 
bitch give it back now you don't get none"

Girl, you best learn yo manners.  If you complain, you don't get the blunt.  However, I'm not sure if this is innuendo.  I wouldn't put it past Jkwon to be skilled enough to make a sexual innuendo vague enough to make me question if it is, or isn't a sexual innuendo.  

"Bottom of the 9th in the series gotta score, 
If not i gotta move on to the next whore,"

I don't think you're allowed to move onto the next whore in baseball.  So I'd say that metaphor is halfway there.

"Homeboy trippin' he don't know I got a gun,"

If homeboy is trippin and he DOESN'T know you have a gun, imagine how much he's going to trip when he finds out you do have a gun.  

Now, this song has a hidden jewel in it that I didn't realize until just this week.  You know how he does the "1, here comes the 2, to the 3 to the 4"?  Well, he does that twice in each verse.  He will rhyme the following 5 to 6 lines with the last number said in that sequence.  So, if it was "1 here comes the 2 to the 3 to the 4"  he would rhyme everything after that with four.  (It reminded me of discovering something hidden in Lost!)  I thought it was pretty impressive!   However he does let it fall apart in the last 3 lines.  (Kind of like the last few seasons of Lost)  It was like basketball, 1 second left, down by 2 and you just made your shot at the 3 point line.  If it doesn't go in, looks like you'll have to move on to the next whore.

Total count of girls presumably banged throughout this song/house party: 4

Wheezy Rating:  3/5  A song just talking about getting tipsy seems like it wouldn't have any value, but there was much more to this song than meets the eye.  The storytelling seemed to trump most rap songs now a days, and the rhyme scheme though simple (I think we're taught to rhyme with numbers when we're 6) was clever and a fun thing to realize.  I took away a point due to him referencing his large bank account.  To recap,  you made one song, you talked about how much money you made in this song (which means while you were in the studio recording as a nobody, you rapped about your money) and proceeded to not have any other hits.  Automatic wheezy loss when new rappers discuss their finances in their first song.  Another wheezy was lost due to the insane similarities to Aaron Carter's -aarons party (come get it)

And, Jkwon, Aaron had other hits too......

Ludacris-My Chick's Bad feat Nicki Minaj

Ludacris-My Chick's Bad feat Nicki Minaj

Name drops: Less popular sports stars, Macy's parade, Homer Simpson, Nightmare on Elmstreet, Friday the 13th, Milk

Summary:  I still can't decide if this song is solely about a girl that is real "bad" because she'll do all sorts of sexual things or if it's about that AND being super crazy and fighting bitches left and right.   However, with lines like, "She rides that dick and she handles her liquor," I can only assume that he is focusing on the sexual aspect of his lady.

Now, lets decide if Ludacris did a good enough job pushing his agenda of his chick being bad.   I have to deduct some points for the line, "My chick do stuff I can't put into words" because your job is to put things into words.  And I have to assume if you have the line, "the whole crew want to bone her," then you are probably not omitting something about your girl that would be "classless" 

However, I will give those points BACK, because on three occasions in this song Ludacris name drops sports stars of less popular sports: Venus and Serena Williams, Tiger Woods' (wife), and Lisa Leslie.  He could have easily have dropped names of athletes from more popular sports: Kobe Bryant, Dwayne Wade, Brett Farve.  Instead, he went with: Tennis, Golf, and Women's Basketball.  I almost gave another point for the creativity with the line.  "My chick brings the racket, like venus and serena"  I thought that was a pretty clever line!  However I decided to keep the point because that was one of the only lines in the entire song that makes sense.  Which brings me to my next point....

WHAT THE FUCK IS LUDACRIS TALKING ABOUT IN THIS SONG?!?  Here are a selection of some of the most random lines:

"I knock a bitch out and fight ,Comin' out swingin' like Tiger Woods' wife" 

 I am convinced that he did whatever he could to have a lyric set up the phrase, "tiger wood's wife" because the line, "I knock a bitch out and fight" Indicates Luda is punching out chicks.

"Yeah, she can get a lil' hasty , Chicks better cover up their chests like pasties"  

I don't understand if this means the girl who is "bad" is going to shoot them in the chest?  Otherwise, why would they be covering up their chests?  Also, pasties have very little coverage.

"I fill her up, balloons!"

This is the most awkwardly delivered line, ever.

"Doh, but I ain't talk 'bout Homer ,Chick so bad the whole crew wanna bone her! " 

 Using Homer simpson's name to set up the line "the whole crew wanna bone her," kind of ruins a lot of my childhood watching The Simpsons for me.  But enough about my ruined childhood, more importantly, WHY WOULD YOU WANT YOUR WHOLE CREW TO WANT TO BONE YO CHICK?

Some unanswered questions:

Friday the 13th, guess who's playin' Jason 
Tuck yourself in, you better hold on to ya teddy 
It's Nightmare on Elm Street and guess who's playin' Freddy

Are these hypothetical questions, or could I just go to IMDB.com to find out?

Finally, after my brain has worked over time to trying to figure out if I was missing the point of some of the lines, or if it was just a random clustering of words and things Luda liked, I was left only wanting to know one thing.  Where do you get a certificate to be a certified stripper?  And are there certain strip clubs that only employ Certified Strippers.

So, this song gets 1/2 of a Wheezie.  It was at zero, but slam dunking was mentioned and I figured that's enough to keep it on the board.

To Ludacris, I don't like much you do musically.  Sorry.

To Nicki Minaj, you are insane looking and your facial expressions are off the charts.  I'm both impressed, and horrified.  

Shots-LMFAO featuring Lil Jon

Name Drops: Patron, their own names

Shot name drops: Jager Bombs, Buttery Nipples, Lemon Drops, Jello Shots, 3 wise men

Themes: Taking shots, Alcoholism, Girls will do anything sexual for booze

Summary:  Ok, if you've listened to this song we both know there is not much to dissect.  The same 4 lines are repeated throughout the whole song basically.  A few things to stand out though.  They keep calling out, "All my alcoholics in the club!!"  Now, I'm not a trained professional on the matter, but think alcoholics are suppose to avoid alcoholic drinks.  Basically, Lil Jon and LMFAO become the biggest enablers in the history of sobriety.  Now, LMFAO take on the laid back "Let's get fucked up attitude" but half way through the song Lil Jon gets super pissed "IF YOU AIN'T GETTIN DRUNK GET THE FUCK OUT DA CLUB, IF YOU AINT TAKING SHOTS GET THE FUCK OUT DA CLUB"  Haven't you heard of a designated driver, Lil Jon?  Seriously, you'd think a guy that has had as many shots as you've made it seem would be either passed out, chilled out, or throwing aimless punches at the camera.

Now, a subject I'd like to highlight in this song, is how they make it seem that girls are SOOOOOO desperate to score some of that sweet liquor that they have.  They'll do ANYTHING just for a taste of that sweet Patron.  Well, news flash boys, we're not talking about cocaine, and it's not the prohibition.  They do not need to give you blow jobs to get a shot.  Chances are they have an high paying executive job and they're just trying to relax after a busy week.  

Line of the song: The ladies love us when we pour shots, they want excuses to suck our cocks.

-yes because prior to getting the shot, they had no excuse what so ever to do it.  They were about to resort to spilling mustard on your pants and offering to clean it up with her mouth.

Final Call:

The more I listened to this song, and the more I was writing, the more I hated this song.  It's not just for what they say, but that they say it only 4 different ways through out the whole song.  Oh, and by the way, all of those shots they listed are the girliest shots in the world.  I bet it was a close vote on including "blow jobs" as one of the shots named in the song.

1 out of 5 weezies.  It would get zero, but there is a certain hook to the song that if you turn off your brain you can kind of dance or something.

Ray J-Sexy Can I?

Take a quick listen to the song if you haven't heard it before:

Subjects covered: Infidelity, Strippers, Photography, Sexual Positions, Manners

Summary:  In "Sexy Can I" artist, Ray J, displays ::GASP:: gentleman like behavior.  Throughout the song it demonstrates his chivalry by asking for permission to, "can I hit it from the front, can I hit it from the back,you know you like it like that."  But, overall, he remains mysterious in what he is actually asking for.  Most of the song he never actually gets out what he's asking for. "Sexy Can I, just pardon my manners, girl I like how you shake it."  But really, that's not asking permission for anything, just simply stating how he likes the girls appearance.  It is clear though, that his goal is for some sort of intimacy with a lady. I appreciate it howhe refers to the act of intimacy as, "making love" in the line, "Baby when we make love it's like, it's like, it's like," but Ray J being the mysterious guy that he is, never reveals what it is like.

Name drops: Marc Jacob, Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Kodak

Line of the song: "Sexy Can I visit you at work, when you sliding down the poll no panties no shirt, then you climb back up dat poll and you drop into the splits, and you make dat pussy talk"

Rating: I'll give it 2 out of 5 Weezies. Let's be honest, he isn't being polite about the sex he's going to get. And I saw him on that VH1 reality show of his, Ray J of love. He was not as polite as that song made him out to be. I don't like dishonesty.