Lyfe Jennings-STATISTICS

Lyfe doesn't like the embedding option in youtube videos!

(start this video at :40, it kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind of makes you feel terrible if you don't)

Alright alright alright! Class is in session. We are about to learn about some hard hitting statistics from Mr. Lyfe Jennings!!! Not since Seasame Street and Nick Jr. has a song had the intention of educating it's listeners quite the same way.

Now, I never made it to Statistics in High School, so I might not be the authority on this. See Lyfe says "welcome to statistics 101", but then it sounds like all the statistics are already figured out! If Statistics was just the teacher throwing statistics out at you and there was no work involved, then I think I missed quite possibly the best kept secret in high school. Though, based off of the content in this song, I do believe this class should be "Health Class 101" and it is taught by a heatedly bitter female gym teacher.

Now I'm going to go ahead and list all of the statistics he hands down in this song:

25% of all men are unstable
25% of all men can't be faithful
30% of them don't mean what they say
and 10% of the remaining 20 is gay

15% of all men got a complex
15% of all men don't practice safe sex
20% of them come from homes without a father
and there's a 50/50 chance that you'll marry a coward

Those are some hard hitting numbers! I can't imagine the time it took to compile those figures. Now lets break it down!

I'm already a little confused about the first verse of stats, so maybe statistics is harder than I thought! You have 80% in the first 3 lines, then it goes on to say "and 10% of the remaining 20 is gay" Does he mean 20 dudes in the last 10% are gay? And further more, then there is a mystery 10% in this equation that goes un named? UNLESS, the last line is suppose to be read as 10% of guys are fine, but then 20% are gay....BUT THEN YOU HAVE A 110%!!!! Come on Lyfe, it's already hard enough for me to find a guy who is stable (according to your statistics) I shouldn't be wasting precious time on MATH.

So it seems like in the second verse of stats you have a little bit better of a shot! In the first 3 lines you total 50%, and then there is a 50/50 chance you'll marry a coward, so I assume that is to be taken off the remaing 50% which would account for 25% of men will be a coward, so in this scenario you have a 25% of finding a good guy!!!! (account for gay dudes manually)

But don't worry ladies!!! Lyfe has got a way to get you the 10% remaining (though, I'm not sure if it's really 10% based off of the figures)

RULE #1
Don't be a booty call
If he don't respect you girl he gon forget you girl

RULE #2
If he's in a relationship
If he will cheat on her that means he will cheat on you

RULE #3
Tell him that you're celibate
And if he wants some of your goodies he gon have to work for it

RULE #4
Be the person you wanna find
Don't be a nickel out here lookin' for a dime

Rules 1 and 2 sound perfectly fine, I just run into a few hiccups come rules 3 and 4.

Now, I was never much of a player in English class either but I thought celibate was to obstain from sex! and according to dictionary.com.....

One who abstains from sexual intercourse, especially by reason of religious vows.

That's exactly what it is! So....is Lyfe telling a girl to....lie? I guess I never thought being celibate was an on and off switch...but I also didn't know that there is only 10% of of guys remaining only 80% other guys are accounted for...

And rule #4: is he trying to say that the girl is a nickel, so she should know her league and don't try and go for a dime?! That seems very disheartening, however the idea of a nickel falling in love with a dime and the dime being out of her league seems like the PERFECT setting for a new disney movie!

Overview: This song might have some shotty math, and kind of makes you feel like every guy is a jerk, but it is ONE HELL OF A SLOW JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM. So I forgive it all.

Wheezy Rating: 3 1/2 out of 5. Yeah, I just tore this song apart, but I don't know if I forgot to mention THIS IS ONE HELL OF A SLOW JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM. Also, I had to tack on some points to the fact that Mr. Lyfe Jennings basically is public enemy number one to 90% (really 80% by his math) of men out there.

So ladies, if you have a guy who is in that 10% (really 20%) then hold him tight! And guys, if you are in that 90% (really 80%) of jerks, well, looks like you need to find new practices because lyfe just outted you playa!

Lil' Wayne-Let the Beat Build (FREE WHEEZY COUNTDOWN)

Disclaimer: Let me just say, that the chorus doesn't even drop until the 2 minute mark.  Yeah, I think that's how you let the beat build...bitch.

Lyrically, this is my favorite Lil Wayne song.  I really like the beat (gah, the song's title is refering to letting the beat build, I'm pretty sure it's going to be a good beat)  But I want to take this review a rap and just highlight some of the best lines in the song.

"Believe that like a true story

Rims big make the car look it's two stories"

What I love about this line is it puts this insane visual in your head of a car that is made to look HUGE because the rims distort your perception of size.  Now, I went back and forth on if I wanted to show a picture of a car with huge rims.  I thought, "The visual is so much better than actually seeing it"  Until I googled "Really tall cars" and got this on the first page:

NEXT LYRIC!

"I told her tool box bitch it's hammertime"

If this blog post is your first introduction to Lil Wayne, you might not realize how much this guy likes doin it.  He likes talking about, a lot.  He has a song called "Pussy Monster".  So I can only imagine that this lyric indicates sexual desires.  I think the proper delivery of this line is:   I told the bitch, "It's hammertime" which, I think, makes the intentions more clear.  Let's connect the dots here.  A box is sometimes the term used for a woman's "lady parts".  A tool can be the term for a male's "guy parts".  A hammer is a tool.  So for Lil Wayne to state, "it's hammertime" makes me think that he's planning on putting his "something" in her "something"

We good?  Sweet, next lyric....

"I am Legend and I am Will Smith"

I'm not sure what the point of this lyric is, but I like that he talks about I am Legend and Will Smith.  So I love it lots.  NEXT LYRIC!

"F-350 tank never empty

Damn everybody in the bank act friendly"

This is an F-350.  And I bet that tank gets empty PRETTY quick.  So you probably have to go to the bank and get cash, and whattya know, everyones acting so nice!  (This is how I imagine this line came about)  But really, everybody in the bank do act friendly.  

"or the wave pool at Blue Bayou

 and I waved fool, as I blew by you"

http://www.bluebayou.com/

Yup, just picture it, Lil Wayne, sitting on his inner tube in the lazy river just driftin' along.  Or seeing the thrill in his eyes when the buzzer sounds that they are about to start the waves in the wave pool.  Oh, and that lyric is probably my favorite lyric that Lil' Wayne has ever spoke.

Wheezy Rating:

5 out of 5, obviously.  This song is insane.  Lil' Wayne is insane.  I love this song.  3 more days till he's free to go to the wave pool at the Blue Bayou and catch some waves, or cruise in his giant car, or make a deposit at the bank, or have all of that sex he loves talking about!